Sometimes We ALL Need A “Reset”

This past week has been anything but easy for me.  But really is it ever truly easy as a parent?  I needed a mental reset.

My husband has been away for work and in his absence there has been a lot going on.  We listed our house for sale, had a very busy first day on the market and tons of showings, did I mention it was also Spring Break.  For me, that means a lot of extra work.

Every time someone wants to see the house I have to quickly tidy and clean, with a toddler undoing all of that behind me.  I also have to pack up two dogs and their crates and items that I don’t want to leave in the house while strangers poke around.  I know,  that doesn’t sound so bad.  Its really not.  The hard part is stressing out my children and pets with the constant relocating to friends or family member’s homes.  Eating crappy drive-thru food and take-out and basically not being able to get comfortable, ever.  There were several long days and sleepless nights.

Hopefully all of this stress ends up being worth it.

Last night was my seventh night without help from another adult, and usually about when I start to lose it a little and when my kids really miss their dad.  Emotions and stress are high.  Typically my husband returns right about now, and I get to take a minute for myself and my kids get to see Daddy.  But no, this time we have to wait another whole week.

I was on my third attempt to get my toddler to sleep (three hours past his regular bed time) and I can feel myself losing it.  Without thinking I yelled “go to bed!”  My yell was  louder than I have ever yelled at my child before, which kind of scared me and I could tell that it had scared my son.  Quickly I went to his crib, kissed him, then left the room.  I needed to “reset”.

Have you ever needed to reset?

Well, it only took a couple of minutes and sure my son was screaming and crying in his crib, but I NEEDED IT.  In this “reset time”, I changed into my pajamas, went to the bathroom, got a drink of water and said goodnight to my 11 year old.  I reminded myself that this week has not only been hard on me, but also my kids.  My little guy was only going to be a little guy for a small amount of time.  I needed to appreciate every moment… even the hard moments.

Walking calmly into my son’s room I turned on a dim light and grabbed a book from his wall.  I asked him if he wanted to read a book.  He quickly calmed down and reached for me.  Together we sat in a chair in his room reading Dr. Seuss.  He sniffled a little with each page he turned.  When we had finished the book, I turned off the light and we sat together in the dark.  Before I knew it he was snoring.  Sure I could have immediately laid him down in his crib and gotten back to cleaning, but I didn’t.  Instead I sat in that uncomfortable chair holding this little human that I loved so much and reminded myself, “he will never be this small again”.

During this time I realized that he needed to “reset” too.

My little guy had also been going through this stressful time.  All of our routines were way out of whack, we were all spending a lot of time away from home.  Unlike my 11 year old that understands what we are doing, he has no idea what is happening.  I think he needed something “normal”, he needed a parent to sit with him undistracted and just embrace him.  So I sat in the dark holding him long after he fell asleep.

This morning I may be overly tired and my arms may be really sore, but I have reset mentally.  Now I can handle another week.

So, from a parent to another parent, if you feel yourself losing your patience, take a minute or two and reset.  Your child may cry for a few minutes but that is okay.  Being able to come back to the situation in a better place mentally and more relaxed is better than reacting in a negative way.

Thank you for reading.  This is not a typical post of mine so I appreciate you taking the time to read about my experience this past week.

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